I didn't stutter
by The Somebody of Nobody
Summary: Walter told his uncles that he went to an orphans' home once, but he never told them why or what led up to it.


Title: I didn't stutter.  
Author: The Somebody of Nobody  
Summary: Walter told his uncles that he went to an orphans' home once, but he never told them why or what led up to it.  
Warning: Slight mentions of abuse.  
Disclaimer: We do not own Secondhand Lions  
Word count: 1,266

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Prompt: Speak softly, love, lest you stutter something profound.

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This story begins in the faded light of evening. The stars and moon were shadowed by heavy clouds much to the disappointment of the little boy who sat behind a grime-covered window trapped in a world of his own thoughts. Thoughts that warred in volume to drown out the noise outside of the boy's small room. Noises that stemmed, not from the blackened outdoors or a storm; no. The noises drifted from deeper within the building that the child called home, from the room behind a locked door, from the two people the boy both loved and feared with all his being.

One might first think that the two people fighting in the background to be the child's parents, but this is not completely true. One is his mother, but the other is a man that he still has not learned the name of. It doesn't matter though because he's not allowed to address either of them directly and has not been allowed to do so for months. That was about how long these fights had been going on. Months of yelling and objects breaking and flesh being hit, just inside that room. Then there were the times where the boy was brought into the argument. Those varied, but often he was merely a topic for 'discussion' and nothing more. He was the topic that had sparked the fight currently keeping him up at night.

It had started simply enough with the man telling his mother that the boy was worthless, incapable of following orders, and something else. The word had been cut off by his mother slapping the man across the mouth, so the child was not able to understand even had he known what the word meant. From there, the issue came up that his mother needed to be a mother to a stable family with a child belonging to both of them. The child had understood that. The man wanted his mother to have a baby. Okay, that didn't sound so bad. Then had come two words that the boy would have given anything to not have heard. The man wanted to send him to the orphans' home.

The boy had been threatened with that place before by other men his mother had brought them to live with, but none had ever gone through with their threats. A few had tried, but his mother had always managed to pack up their things and him and leave before it ever came to pass. This time, though, it didn't sound like she was going to fight very hard. That was more heartbreaking to the child than her looking away on the days she came home to him covered in bruises that she knew nothing about. So, he did his best to block out the yelled conversation between the two adults who didn't care one bit about what happened to him.

That night, he sat at the window and stared hopelessly toward the moon knowing that the sky would not permit the silvery orb to show its face. His blue eyes were filled with tears that would never fall and his arms were wrapped securely around a stuffed bear that was both old and perfectly filthy. That bear had been the boy's confidant for years, listening to his thoughts and wishes and dreams while the adults in the child's life ignored him with ease.

"He's right, Teddy," the boy whispered brokenly to the bear. "Mommy would be better off with a new baby and me gone."

The bear never responded, but the boy didn't need it to. Taking a deep breath, he backed away from the dirty window with his bear in a death grip. He was terrified; both by what he was about to do and what was likely to follow.

"Stay with me, Teddy."

The boy left his room for the hallway where the screams of both adults echoed without effort. The sound caused him to cringe, but his resolve was such that he kept moving forward. He walked all the way to the closed door of the room his mother and the man shared. He raised a single trembling hand, the other hugging the old bear close, and rapped his knuckles against the door.

Instantly, the yelling ceased and the door was ripped open by the man. His hair was short and dark, so was the beard he had. His eyes were angry, possibly at being disturbed, and his knuckles were white from how tightly he held the opened door.

"What the hell do you want, you little bas-"

"What's the matter, baby?" his mother asked, cutting off the man just like the last time he began that word.

The boy looked up at his mother, past the man, with fearful eyes. This moment was what he came for. He had to tell her what he had decided so that she could be happy with a real family. So, why was it that, now that he was there in front of her, he couldn't make the words come out? He took in a shaky breath and launched himself towards his mother, wrapping both arms around her in a hug that only he felt anything from.

"I love you, mommy," he whispered into her dress. "I love you and I'll do what you want and you can be a family and I'll stay out of the way. I'll... I'll go to the orphan home, mommy."

The words were soft, but everyone in the room picked them up. The man had a triumphant smile gracing his lips that only the boy's mother could see. She looked surprised, but pleased with the outcome of events.

"Baby," she started as she withdrew the boy from her person, "are you sure about this?"

The boy hugged his bear tightly as his eyes met hers. This was a right choice. It had to be because his mother was important to him so he had to make her happy. No matter what.

"I'm sure, mommy."

"Well then," the man standing by the door said, "that's what's gonna happen. Go get your shit packed, boy. We'll take ya down in the mornin'. Get goin'!"

The boy ran out of the room back into his own. There was not much to pack. Just a few sets of shirts and trousers and underthings. His bear would go in last, after they had both slept one last night in his mother's home. Come the next day, he wouldn't have a mother or a home. He'd just be another kid in the system with no chance, no hope, no family, and no love.

"I did the right thing, Teddy. Didn't I?"

For the first time, the boy thought he bear spoke back to him. The words were probably all in his head, but the child still heard them clearly.

'I don't know.'

"I love her."

'I know. Sleep now.'

"Goodnight, Teddy."

'Goodnight, Walter.'

That night, the boy fell asleep with his bear against his chest and an open suitcase on the floor. He wasn't alone, even if he when he woke he didn't have any family anywhere in the world. He said what he meant to and only stumbled over it once. He meant what he said too, even if his mother would never care about it or him ever again. That night, the boy was more of a man than any of the men she had brought into their lives. It was too bad that she missed the important parts of his message in favor of what she and her man wanted to hear.


End file.
